Dear Summer

 

DEAR SUMMER,

As I step into Fall, I can't help but reminisce on my summer memories. I found a beautiful, quiet place to relax, release, and regroup my thoughts and energies. As the summer began I was very depressed and optimistic, as my life had changed so drastically being a newly single yet very ambitious 29 year old woman who had lost love but gained hope. Hope turned to fear as the season began, then came triumph. After a crazy, rollercoaster Winter I had went through so many emotions in 6 months. I had many sleepless nights where I had to face my demons. I realized that while many things had forever changed my life and personal perspectives, in the end I had learned so many 

Life lessons. I learned that trouble does not last always, neither would the hold of the demons that wouldn't let me go. The very moment we think we are inadequate is the very moment something amazing happens. I sat in the park on a wooden bridge, in a extremely somber state of mind while I began to deal with my emotions. After crying, praying, laughing, meditating, and planning I finally told myself that I wouldn't let the things I could not control define me. I stopped playing the victim and instead started to planning my future. 

On a hot summer day in June I had my breathrough. I was standing on the bridge looking down at the creek stream, when I decided not to live with anymore regrets. This was the last summer of my 20s. After wasting so many Summers not self progressing, focusing on others, and wasting my potential, I 

made sure this Summer was my season of redemption. I could probably debate over why it took 29 years of bad relationship choices, bad decisions, and bad friendships to make me finally break forever and ever.  BUT, why. 

I never looked back on the yesterdays, and I thanked The Creator for giving  me this beautiful Summer day to just let go of my regrets, my imperfections, my heartaches, my pains, and most importantly my self pity. I started to sketch some designs in my diary and then I started to make 

bulletins for a business plan right by a summer flower that I couldn't take my eyes off of. Just like the 

blossoms on that flower I realized they were blooming because it was their season. What was

stopping me from planting myself and sewing seeds to watch bloom. IT was ME. In life we can 

be our own biggest inspiration or curse. I decided to bless myself by accepting new beginnings and by following my dreams. The same girl that breezed through so beautiful Summers living like a careless child had found her purpose as an ambitious woman. The same girl that was consumed with the fear of flying, slowly learned it was ok to fly alone. I looked down at the tribute tattoo on my feet dedicated to the only man who truly loved me which read, "Walk by Faith, not by Sight" and I felt like a Hypocrite. It was time to take that walk. I started to touch up on my sewing skills, create my business plan, and pursue my dreams. These dreams were

 driven by my angels not my demons. As your summer months passed, so did I. I had passed the 

most critical test in my life. Choosing against the odds and unknown and choosing to fly instead. By the end of your season, my business had proven self fulling as well as prosperous. My random summer thoughts that I began to blog had drew many fans, and to top it off My demons were chased away by my Angels. My father who was my best friend wasn't there, neither were the people I was with last summer. However, I was still surrounded by love. The love I had for myself and the love that nature had given me in my beautiful, quiet place on the bridge. Tears never dripped again on a summer day until I came back to the bridge on this late summer day. Dressed in a sky blue jumper I designed with the same hands I had cried on. I walked past that same flower and more blooms had appeared as well as more colors. The blooms had turned purple just like my hair. I began to cry tears of joy and become one with my Creator and this gorgeous, unnoticed flower. Many people had probably walked by it and not noticed its beauty or acknowledged its purpose on this earth but that did not stop it from blooming. Just like that flower, I knew that no matter what rains or storms come or whether the season changes you can't take away its purpose in the world. It may wither or get changed by its environment but it will never truly die. Summer days made it show its true colors , but it's true story may never be told. Thank you summer for these moments and the beautiful flower by the bridge. You not only showed me that the most beautiful things aren't praised or showcased, they are unnoticed until one day someone recognizes its purpose. Many people saw my potential while I saw my purpose. The color of my garment represents the fact the  sky's the limit. Until next year, I will never forget this amazing Summer and while I'll be 30 next time we meet, it only means my new season will be one of new truths. I saw life again on the bridge, I wiped my tears, then I took some 

goodbye pictures. Although on many Summer days I was beaten it never left me broken. I learned that time is not forever, neither is a season, but real love is priceless and ...memories last forever. 

LOVE KAT